Calvin’s Dad: Straw Theory


I’ve said before that Calvin’s Dad is my hero when it comes to parenting. He had full respect for his responsibility as a parent but knew how to enjoy it fully. Every once in a while, when I’m not making my kids groan due to bad puns, I channel Calvin’s dad – here’s another example.

I was at the grocery with my 14 year old last weekend and bought some sodas from a company a year older than Coke. He read the label and asked what a “soda fountain” was.

What's a soda fountain
Dad, What’s a soda fountain?

I told him that they were old, even older than me. Actually back to the time of the dinosaurs when they lived with man. Legend has it that Man invented sodas then had to invent straws as well because dinos have crappy short arms. Without the straws, the dinosaurs couldn’t drink the new invention and got really frustrated.

However, the dinos got used to the straws and used them at the soda fountains where they tended to eat the waitstaff and, as it turns out, the dude who owned the straw-buiding process. The T-Rex wasn’t known for being all that forward thinking.

Straws became lost to the world for a time because they were mainly used by carnivores. Since the dinosaurs had become dependent on the soda fountains for food, they too became extinct. You may have heard theories about a giant asteroid taking them out. It hit their favorite soda fountain.

Eventually, the human population recovered and reinvented the straws centuries later which brings us to today.

Totally plausible, right?

T-Rex at a Soda Fountain
A dinosaur at a soda fountain. Let’s not even go into their issues with the stools.

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